Narcissism Resources: Working with Someone in a Narcissistic Relationship
Previously in one of our blog posts we have explored Working Therapeutically with Someone in a Narcissistic Relationship. In this blogpost we will expand on the resources available for therapists working with clients who are experiencing, or indeed have in the past, experienced being in a relationship with a narcissist.
We appreciate that we cannot create an exhaustive list, nor cover all aspects of Narcissism in a single blog post. However we hope to give you an insight into some of the resources available and bring them together in a palatable resource centre. We will continue adding to this list, and hope that you will find it a useful place to return to for further information.
If you are aware of a great resource that perhaps we have missed here, such as; a book, film, article, podcast, website or organisation then please feel free to email us directly on email@example.com or leave us a comment at the end of this page.
Brighton Therapy Partnership – Narcissism and Working with the Children of Narcissists. Our one-day workshop takes place on Saturday 13th November with Professor Julia Buckroyd. Those people who have very strong narcissistic traits often create enormous problems of psychological development for their children, and it’s the children who present as clients to therapists. This workshop first of all clarifies the genesis of narcissism and describes its different forms. It continues to describe the risks to the child’s development of having a narcissistic parent, and it then offers strategies for working with this client group.
ThEO Online Learning – The Fragile Mind By Dr Phil Mollon. This course explores the themes of identity disturbance, fluctuating moods, low self-esteem,shame, and grandiosity (both hidden and overt) that are common and pervasive features of psychotherapeutic discourse. These themes reflect the disruptions present in a person’s narcissistic equilibrium. This video is available to rent from the Therapy Education Online (ThEO) website.
There are so many wonderful resources to learn from, so we’re highlighting here the diversity of those resources to include books as well as longer academic books or guides, TV and film, documentaries, podcasts and more.
Books for Therapists
Understanding and Treating Pathological Narcissism. By John S. Ogrodniczuk. Pathological narcissism has long been considered one of the most challenging conditions to treat in psychotherapy.
The Handbook of Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Theoretical Approaches, Empirical Findings, and Treatments. By Joshua D.Miller and W.Keith Campbell. This handbook is the definitive resource for empirically sound information on narcissism for researchers, students, and clinicians at a time when this personality disorder has become a particularly relevant area of interest.
Treating Pathological Narcissism with Transference-Focused Psychotherapy. By Diana Diamond, Frank E. Yeomans, et al. Filling a crucial gap in the clinical literature, this book provides a contemporary view of pathological narcissism and presents an innovative treatment approach.
Pathologies of the Self: Exploring Narcissistic and Borderline States of Mind. Published in 2020 by one of Brighton Therapy Partnership’s favourite trainers, Dr Phil Mollon. This book explores both narcissistic disturbance and borderline states. For several decades of his clinical practice, Phil Mollon has explored and pondered the nature and structure of identity as a core aspect of what drives human action. We are collectively trapped in images, either of our own choosing, or imposed on us by others.
Narcissism denial of the true self. By Alexander Lowen. This book explores narcissism… Do you know someone who is? Contrary to popular belief, narcissists do not love themselves, or anyone else.
A Crash Course in Understanding, Navigating, and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse. By Dana Morningstar and Morningstar Media. In this book the author comes up with a description relating to relationships that might feel Confusing, Crazy making or Draining.
Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse. By Dana Morningstar The author asks the question – Lying. Cheating. Manipulating. Will they ever change? What will it take to get through to them?
Individuation and Narcissism: The psychology of self in Jung and Kohut. Author Mario Jacoby attempts to overcome the doctrinal differences between theses two different schools of depth psychology.
The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. By Jean M Twenge. The author of Generation Me explores the spread of narcissism in today’s culture and its catastrophic effects at every level of society. Narcissism–an inflated view of the self–is everywhere.
Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grownup’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents By Nina W.Brown. Readers of this book will learn to set boundaries, employ strategies for maintaining a less destructive relationship and take steps toward emotional healing.
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers By Dr Karyl McBride PH.D. An essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers–designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.
Dealing with people who drain you dry Emotional Vampires By Albert Bernstein. This book will help you cope effectively with the people in your life that confound you, confuse you, and seem to sap every ounce of your energy.
The crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults Trapped in the Mirror By Elan Golomb. The author identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist — offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters — share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist.
Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed By Wendy T.Behary LCSW. How do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They’re frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.
Therapist Uncensored a cluster of useful podcasts relating to narcissism.
Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn WalserIn this episode, Drs. Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser delve into a rich discussion on the different types of narcissism, how to spot a narcissist, and how to protect yourself and/or clients from covert forms of this personality trait.
The Narcissism Podcast This podcast deals with healing from narcissistic abuse.
Inside Mental Health Podcast: What Is Narcissism Exactly? Author Riana Milne explains narcissistic personality disorder and answers vital questions like whether this is an actual psychological disorder and, if so, how it’s diagnosed and treated. Join the podcast as she explains how to spot a narcissist — and how to heal from one.
Narcissism – What is Going on Under the Defence with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley This time they focus on how narcissism is created and what is going on behind the narcissists defences.
Psychotherapy with a Narcissistic Patient Using Kohut’s Self Psychology Model By Jamie McClean MD. In this article, therapy with a narcissistic patient is approached from the point of view of Kohut’s self psychology theory, and the successes and problems that were encountered with this approach are described and discussed.
Dos and don’ts in treatments of patients with narcissistic personality disorder By Igor Weinberg, PhD, and Elsa Ronningstam, PhD This article identifies guiding principles in effective psychotherapies of patients with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and cautions against some common pitfalls.
Alliance challenges in the treatment of a narcissistic patient: the case of Alex By Hemrie Zalman Katie Aafjes-van Doorn Catherine F. Eubanks. People with pathological narcissism, with their conflicted sense of grandiosity and vulnerability, often pose a variety of therapeutic challenges, which may impede these patients’ ability to benefit from psychotherapy.
Practices of Claiming Control and Independence in Couple Therapy With Narcissism By Bernadetta Janusz, Jorg R Bergmann, Feliks Matusiak and Anssi Perakyla. The authors suggest that beyond its conceptualization as a personality disorder, narcissism should be understood as a pattern of interactional practices.
What Makes Narcissists Tick:Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder By Kathleen Krajco. This book us designed to help the average person understand mental illness. Understanding what makes narcissists tick, enables you to make wise choices when dealing with narcissists.
The Parasitic Relationship Between a Narcissist and an Empath By Dr Rachel Partiali Understanding the dynamic between a narcissist and an empath and why such a relationship exists is the first step in freeing yourself from this parasitic dynamic.
Self-love or self-hate? The surprising truth about narcissists Co authored by Pascal Wallisch for the Guardian. They may seem grandiose, but some narcissists are just compensating for their deep-set insecurities. Others are out-and-out psychopaths.
How Narcissism Distorts Self-Image via Self-Concept Clarity By Grant Hilary Brenner for Psychology Today. Clever research reveals how and why narcissistic people over-value self-image.
Good Therapy: The Arduous Work of Treating Narcissism
Psychotherapy Networker: Why Are Narcissists So Hard to Treat?
Films Featuring Narcissistic Personalities
Please be aware that some of the content of these films might trigger difficult emotions, memories or painful feelings, so please apply your judgement and have some support available if needs arise.
Dorian Grey – Young Dorian (Ben Barns) has a narcissistic personality disorder and trades his soul to keep his beauty and youth. His image is captured in an enchanted painting that keeps him from ageing but the painting gradually reveals his ugliness. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets – The story revolves around Harry Potter’s adventures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Gilderoy Lockhart (played by Kenneth Branagh), one of the characters in the story, has a narcissistic personality disorder. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
Ice Man – Michael Shannen plays Richard Kuklinski who has antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders, kills people for pleasure and personal gain. He manages to keep his dark secret from his family. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
Magnolia – (Starring Tom Cruise, Jason Robards, Julianne Moore) The film centres on nine characters whose lives are all connected to each other. One of them is the famous lost son who has a narcissistic personality disorder and a misogynist. The characters are in search of love and forgiveness. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
Rain Man – Tom Cruise plays a car dealer who has a narcissistic personality disorder, recently learns he has an elder brother (Dustin Hoffman) with autism and that his father donated the rest of his will to the institution where his brother lives. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
Scarface – Starring Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steven Bauer. Tony Montana, a powerful drug lord, has antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders. His cocaine-fuelled paranoia marks the beginning of his downfall. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
The Talented Mr Ripley – Starring Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law. Tom Ripley, a young man who has antisocial personality disorder meets Dickie Greenleaf, the son of a wealthy man, who has a narcissistic personality disorder. Tom goes to extreme lengths to make Dickie’s privileges his own. Watch Trailer on YouTube or Watch on Amazon
We hope you have found these resources useful, this is by no means an all-encompassing list. If you have come across a resource we haven’t mentioned here please do get in touch with us by email firstname.lastname@example.org or in the comments box below. Thank you. All feedback is most welcome.
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